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Writer's pictureMagdalena Rodriguez

Stop talking about yourself & other tid bits

I'm that kind of girl, you know that kind of girl, that girl, who can't force inspiration or force myself to do anything for that matter...or rather, when I do force myself to do something, it ends up half assed and not good at all.  That's my roundabout way of saying that I've been quietly storing away information and tiny tid bits I've heard that have inspired me to finally write another post.  So here we are together on this journey through my mind as I attempt to inscribe these thoughts onto a web page for the viewing pleasure of the masses...or whoever dares click this link.


#1 Stop Talking about yourself 

...or rather, when I ask you how you are...please don't list your resume at me.  Let's walk through the typical run-in with someone you haven't seen in awhile...

Me: Wow! So good to see you, it's been forever! How are you?

Them: I'm good! I just finished playing blah blah in blah blah and now I'm about to start blah blah in blah blah which I'm excited about because it's the same director as when I was blah blah in blah blah.....how are you?

Me: Good! ...okay bye!

Them: Bye!

What a thought provoking and interesting conversation, am I right? Look, I'm guilty of this too.  We all are.  It's so easy to equate how you are with how your career is going or how your pursuit of success is rounding out to be.  I came to this realization when I began to feel unseen and unheard - I wanted to stop listing my resume and I wanted to level with people, I wanted to be seen for my soul, not whatever success I felt defined by.  When I ask you how you are, I want to know how your soul is...I want to know if you're feeling tired or if you had an amazing week or if you got a dog or how your mom is.  Think about how you want someone to interact with you...then realize you can set the interaction by not giving in to the peer pressure of proving your worth to anyone.  I have begun to be honest with people.  We live in a world so focused on out-successing (that's not a word but it's fine) others that we fail to really see each other.  Look at someone and see them because if I wanted to see what shows you just did or what your next job is, I would just insta-stalk you (not a word either).


#2 Those who know, do not speak. Those who speak, do not know.

One of the most basic things you learn in acting school is how to listen...because acting is reacting so why, especially AS ACTORS, do we speak so damn much?  Especially about ourselves?  I guess this ties in with #1.  I love all the amazing wonderful extroverted introverted happy excited motivated actors that I meet but the one thing I have noticed is how much we all talk or fight over others to make our opinion heard.  Look, we all want to be heard and seen...that is an overall human want but really listening to someone or not constantly feeling that urge to scream your opinion all over the place is something to strive for.  It is impossible to learn if you are constantly talking.  The best way to learn is to listen.  The best way to be a better actor is to listen.  Listen to other people talk, the way they state something they believe in, or whatever they are saying, just shut up for once and listen before you begin to state your own opinion.  I strive to learn something new everyday and this can be accomplished by listening to the people you surround yourself with.  Learn something from the life experiences and journey of someone else.


#3 Things feel intense because they are about to or are in the middle of changing

As the fall weather begins to settle in and we no longer have to sweat out of every pore in our body upon stepping outside, I've been feeling this new intensity in my overall energy.  Not necessarily negative nor positive, just intensity.  I realized that with the change in weather comes a change in us as well.  We are connected to the earth and the seasons and air far more than we give it credit - after all, that's where we came from.  I've linked this intensity inside to change.  When things around us become heightened or begin to feel intense or overwhelming, it usually means we are about to experience a big change or we are already in the middle of this change.  For the most part, we enjoy how predictable life can become.  We wake up, workout, work, eat, see our friends, etc.  Once we reach that place, I have noticed the universe usually finds of way of bringing about some change.  It never lets us become too complacent or confident in our schedule or routine.  Learning to embrace this intense energy we feel when the seasons change is something to learn to love.  Finding gratitude in moments of intensity or change instead of feeling anxiety.  Whether it be a change of job, moving, relationship, season, friends...each change brings something new.  We can learn to ride the wave so it can bring us to our next destination.


#4 Let go of people, places and things that are not meant for you

On that road of embracing change can come decisions no one wants to make.  The decision to end a friendship, the decision to move, the decision to let go of something you are holding onto that is not meant for you anymore.  I believe we can be in-tune with our subconscious if we stop and listen.  Our true feelings are there if we stop forcing ourselves to ignore them.  Letting go is one of the hardest things to do.  Holding onto something too tightly because you are scared of the outcome once it is gone is even harder.  If a friendship, a job, a place is no longer serving your energy in a positive way, it is time to let go of it.  We are all composed of energy...everything on earth contains certain energy that we can give or take.  If a person or a place is taking more energy than you are able to give, let it go.  You should always find balance in that aspect, always be able to be given energy from friendships when need be or vice versa.  Once it becomes one sided, let it go.  That goes for us too.  Look at how you interact with others, with your time, with your home...are you taking more energy than giving?  How can you begin to use your own energy in a more positive way opposed to relying on others for theirs?


#5 Check your idols

We all strive to live a happy and overall positive life.  Find time in your day to listen in on what you talk about, what you think about and how you are going about achieving that happiness.  Are you constantly discussing how you are struggling financially and how all you want is money?  Is everything you do bringing you closer to achieving a lot of money?  When you get a lot of money will you be happy?  How about relationships?  Do you spend all of your day thinking, daydreaming over how if you found this special guy or girl you would be happy?  When you go and hang out with friends, is all you talk about that guy or girl you're pursuing or wish you were pursuing?  Listen in...because what you find yourself constantly talking about is usually the thing you hold most dear...the thing you believe is going to make you happiest.  And is it?  PROBABLY NOT.  Don't get me wrong, I love money and all of those other idols we put on pedestals but that should not and is not what will bring us ultimate happiness when we are 90 years old with no teeth and a bed pan.  Check yourself.  Check what you are pursuing.  Are they things that will serve your energy in the most positive way?  Once you achieve mountains of money, what then? We should be actively seeking to live a happy and positively fulfilled life regardless of what material possessions and success we also have.  Strive to be a good and happy person without those things because then when you finally achieve or receive them, it will just be an extra bonus.


Thanks for reading my friends!

xoxo

Mags

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